Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Yeah I want it, but no I don't need it. Tell me something sweet to get me by.

I want you to know I'm thankful for you. Thankful for us. What we had was special, far from perfect, but nonetheless... amazing. I learned a lot from you. I watched you grow and mature over the past year as you watched me. We went through everything together, the good, the bad, the horrid, the best days of our lives.

Although, almost a month later, I still hurt.. still miss you.. still dream about you and wish for the day you'd come back. I know that everything happens for a reason. There was a reason that you wanted to "play a trick" on me, and tell me you had feelings for me. There was a reason we had sex the day that we did. There was a reason we rolled together on Halloween, besides for the high. There was a reason we ditched school and bought rings. There was a reason we spent every day together. There was a reason we fought, a reason why we broke up, a reason why we got back together.

There was a reason we broke up again.

I hate it, and I'm thankful for it.

I've had experiences and made friends with people in the past month, that I know wouldn't have happened had we stayed together.

Yet there will always be a part of me that would trade anything, everything, for you to come back.
I'd trade school for you. I'd trade every single one of my friends for you.
I've done it before, I'd do it again.

I realize that's pathetic, but love does stupid things to people. And No matter how much shit you say to me.. how much you hate me right now, how many times you block my number... I'll never stop loving you. Not one bit.

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